Reloaded - Why Are We More Resourceful And Intuitive When We're Young?

Broken Oath Book Review - Chapter Four

In this chapter: Baby in the Woods, again we see the strength and might of young Melee as a child; she knows exactly what to do with regards to the care of Malachi after his birth, she needed no parental guidance and her intuition was at its highest.  She knew instinctively that she was Malachi's champion.

Although Malachi was weak and sickly, yet he thrived under the relentless care of Melee. It is astonishing to see the mind of this champion; when Malachi's mother took him into her room at night, not to nurture him but to aide in his demise, who but Melee would think to creep back into the room when her aunt was asleep and steal her baby cousin away to feed him and to administer his medicine. And put him back before his mother noticed he was missing.

We see how frustrated the aunt was becoming when Malachi simply would not die. For all her own skills and cunning, she could not outwit Melee or the law of nature; Malachi was here to stay and she was force to take desperate measures – to bury him alive in the woods.

Were it not for the heightened intuition of Melee, that caused her to remained alert all night and followed her aunt into the woods, Malachi would not have survived.

The courage of this young child should have been seen in her older cousins but it was surely lacking. It may be because deep down inside, they too did not want the life of Malachi in their household and so they buried their awareness, hoping it would all go away. They were all being challenged by a little girl whose will and might was stronger than everyone and although they did not know it, they were lucky to have her in their fold.

As she walked back home through the woods with little Malachi in her arms in the early hours of the morning, there was no room for fear in her heart. She did what had to be done and found her way back home. I am sure there will come a time when she is older and she will look back and think to herself; did I really do that?

Can you imagine a time when you were young and you did something really brave? Sometimes when you look back on yourself, you do wonder where the courage came from?

I remember when I was very young, maybe 8 or 9 years of age, in those days we had paraffin heaters to keep our bedroom warm at night. I was asleep with most of my siblings in one room when a sense told me to wake up; as I did so, I saw the heater was ablaze with fire. I didn't scream as one would expect a child to do, I jumped out of my bed and ran to turn on the bedroom light only to see that the room was filled with dense smoke. I roused my siblings and called my dad. I kept calm the whole time even though the situation was frightening.

My dad came and took us out of the room and into their bedroom. I can remember they cleaned the inside of our noses with tissues which were blackened from the soot of the smoke and the mucus from our throat was black also but we all survived.

I don't know what was going through my mind, I just instinctively did what I had to do.

Melee acted on her nature and her energy was infectious as she also influenced her cousins, especially Jed to now keep a watchful eye on Malachi and take responsibility for his welfare. His mother faded into the background, she had fulfilled her role; to give birth to Malachi, nothing more.

The energy of Melee was such everyone needed to be alert in order to keep up with her

In the next review, we will look at the relationship and personality of Melee and Malachi as they grow up together.

Hope you enjoyed this review and maybe jogged some memories of yourself as a courageous child.

Best Regards

D. A. Martin
Bestseller Author of Broken Oath

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.doratheauthor.blogspot.co.uk

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What Makes A Bully Tick?

I have published this story a few years ago in my coaching Newsletters, but some things, if it is important, needs to be said more than once:-

Harriett was the office bully; she has been in her company for many years and she ran the pack. The office had its pecking order and Harriett was on top.

She had no seniority title or better knowledge about the workings of the company; she was just an ordinary office worker like all the other members of staff. She was however, very skilled at bullying and intimidating people, especially newcomers to the company. She also had her deputy bully and her assistant bully.

She was very friendly with the manager because they were old friends and went back a long way. She would often be left in charge of the office (and staff) in the manager’s absence, so it was accepted that Harriett could do no wrong.

One day a new member of staff arrived; a young woman named Claudia. She was indeed a ‘new broom’ in the office; well dressed, confident and it was as if she had her own bubble around her. She was polite and courteous to everyone (because that was how she was brought up). She minded her own business and got on with her work with singularity of mind. And, as was expected because she was new, she did not understand the hierarchy in the office. So, Harriett had to let Claudia know her place in the pecking order, which was at the bottom.

Once Harriett gave the command, Claudia’s ‘training’ began; she was subjected to isolation, and on two occasions was invited out with the girls only to be totally ignored at the dinner table all evening. They simply refused to acknowledge her presence and if she spoke and/or tried to join in, no one responded.

There were continuous direct and unwarranted comments about her attire until Claudia was apprehensive about wearing anything new for fear of reprisals. If any senior member came to the office, Harriett would introduce everyone except Claudia; she was blatantly ignored. She was excluded from office emails so she was never in the loop about what was going on in the office; it made her seem incompetent and/or inefficient which only fuelled the unkind comments that was circulating about her.

Claudia also endured constant carping about her work. She could do nothing right. She was not allowed to speak to or befriend anyone in the office unless it was agreed by Harriett which in most instances, was not.

The bullying went on for many months and after untold series of events; Claudia became worn down and simply did not understand why she was being psychologically attacked. She was however, aware that Harriett was the office ‘bully master.’ Claudia wondered why Harriett behaved in such a manner and why others followed her.

She decided to do something about it and discussed the bullying to her Manager but it only made the attack worse; in that it became covert and with a vengeance.

Then, one day, per chance, Claudia entered the office unseen by Harriett and the others and stumbled upon their conversation. Claudia decided to remain behind some cabinets and listened:-

“……..you’re a bully Harriett. One of her colleagues commented.
“I know; I can’t help it.” She replied.
“My father left us when I was young and my mum struggled. She used to leave me with anyone and go off for the day or the evening. I never knew who she was with; she would leave me with from one day to the next. As I grew up I felt I had to be in charge and in control of any and every situation so that I would know where I am in my life.”

At that moment, Claudia understood Harriett; it all made sense to her now.

No one knew that Claudia was listening behind the cabinets and after that incident, Claudia made a conscious effort; rather than to react to the situation, she engaged fully in conversation with Harriett, to get to know and understand her better and they soon got on well. Harriett began to feel more safe and secure. And she would even confide in Claudia on certain personal matters. Needless to say, they became friends; the bullying stopped and Claudia got her working life back and began enjoying her work environment again.

Although Claudia changed the state of affairs in the office, she did not change who she was nor did she accept any pecking order or joined in bullying other members of staff. She talked to whom she liked and continued as she had when she started; getting on with her work and being courteous to everyone. The difference was that Harriett left Claudia alone because she no longer felt insecure by her presence anymore.

I hope you enjoyed the story; why not set yourself a goal and get to know what makes your bully tick. You’d be surprised, that once you learn their nature, you can empower yourself, your bully and change the story.

Best Regards


D. A. Martin
Bestseller Author of Broken Oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath

http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10613721/broken-oath

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http://youtu.be/5hN3aLIpFFA

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Are Bullies Cowards In Disguise?

Bullies are cowards in disguise

I have shared this true story many times as I come across victims over and over again. If it gives encouragement, then it is worth mentioning more than once:-

A few years ago, I was travelling by train, to meet a friend who lived in Central London. The train stopped at a station and a man, who was as big as he was tall, came and sat next to me. He was built like a house; I must have seemed like a child next to him. And I thought to myself. “I wouldn’t dare mess with him.”

As more people boarded the train, a young lad entered the carriage; he stood, eating chicken and chips in a box; the mouth watering smell filled the whole compartment. The big man suddenly raised his voice to the young man and bade him not to eat on the train. His voice was so ferocious, everyone took note. The boy too was stunned; he stopped eating and closed the box. I was shocked also; the man’s voice sounded as fierce as he looked.

A few moments went by when the young lad tried to sneak a bite of his food. Again the man raised his voice and beckoned the boy to stop, at which point everyone was filled with apprehension. I shrunk into myself and the boy, who looked fearful, stopped eating and closed the box a second time.

A young woman was sitting opposite me, she said to the youngster. “If you want to eat, go ahead and eat!” The boy was so scared, he dare not. Soon, the train came into a station, everyone got off, including the boy. The young woman clung to her partner and said to the big man. “Bully! You should be ashamed of yourself!” And she quickly got off the train.

I was the only person left in the carriage and I shrank further into myself, sitting next to this huge man. But then, a strange thing happened; just before the door closed, a ‘bigger’ man came into the carriage; he was a big as he was tall. And, you would not believe it, in one hand, he had a cup of coke, in the other, a bag of chips and hamburger. The mouth watering smell filled the whole compartment.

This enormous man sat opposite the equally huge man, he took out his burger and looking at his counterpart, he began to eat. I was really scared at this point; I thought an argument or a fight would surely start now. I looked up at the big man next to me and then across at the other man. And, an even stranger thing happened.

The man sitting next to me said to the other fellow. “I bet that tastes nice.” The man opposite stopped eating, looked at him and said. “It does.” And he carried on eating. I thought “Uh!” And before I could blink, the big man next to me began to struck up a conversation with the other man, discussing where he was going, and what part of the country they both come from.

The train soon came to a halt and I got off at my station, leaving both men having a friendly chat. (The bigger man opposite continued eating his burger and chips of course.)

I was astounded, I could not wait to meet my friend and tell her about the incident, which I did. We discussed it; my friend said there was a message there for me, and I have to know what it is; bullies are cowards in disguise.

Hope you enjoyed the story.


Best Regards

D. A. Martin
Bestseller Author of Broken Oath


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.doratheauthor.blogspot.co.uk

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dora-The-Author-Books/657344564284562

http://youtu.be/5hN3aLIpFFA

http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10613721/broken-oath


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Why Are We Resourceful When Very Young But Become Less Capable As We Get Older?

Broken Oath Book Review – 

Chapter Three
I am still randomly bumping into people who have bought my book; thank you all once again for your fabulous feedback.

It is interesting to note what part of the book sticks in people’s mind. I recently met one reader who liked the resourcefulness of Melee as a child in this chapter (three); she adapted well in her environment; growing up with a single parent who was not always there.

This part of the book is deliberately focused on the resilience of the young characters; Melee and her cousins and to show how energies connect and are attracted to each other. We never randomly meet who we are meant to meet. There is always something there that binds us; a kindred invisible cord.

In this case, Melee and her male cousins share many commonalities; growing up with single parents who were unable to see to their emotional needs and welfare.

Another trait they all share is their resourcefulness and resilience. They never complained and Melee at least did not show signs of stress; they accepted their lot and got on with life as they knew it.

Melee learnt to keep quite when her father was not around. The cousins never questioned their mother when she left them for long periods at a time and they never begged her to stay home, not even for one night.

Some readers think their personalities unusual, whilst others like their strong characters. I have often written in my Life Coaching Newsletter how although we complain about our lot as adults, in fact, we do have the power to change our lives. All we have to do is to remember when we were young; a thing happened to us and we dealt with it; we were resourceful, resilient and bounced back. Now as adults we convince ourselves we need therapy, counselling or a psychiatrist. Be honest with yourself, you know that is what you do. I know I did.

Now, I stick pictures of myself as a young person all around my room to remind me that I am powerful. I can deal with any situation. I can adapt. I don’t do ‘poor me’ anymore. And whenever I feel myself backsliding, I simply look at myself in the pictures and I think ‘wow, your awesome Dora, I aspire to be like you.’

Going back to the cousins, their unattended emotional needs draws them to each other. Melee enters a home whereby three people will love, care and watch over her and she returned the favour by healing their souls with her unconditional love.

By mutually connecting the needs and strengths of each other, the energy of the home changed and the cousins all thrived.

Along with the resourcefulness of the characters in this chapter; intuition was another trait added. Melee and Jed are very intuitive; no wonder they bonded together very well.

Melee dreamt she saw a woman who was her mother and told her that she will soon a have baby brother to look after. When she woke up, she believed it in her heart and shared it with her family. It is normal for her family members to laughter at her; what does she know. But her aunt knew all too well. I can imagine the aunt thinking; how could she possibly know.

I believe that children are always very intuitive to begin with, and then as we grow into adults, we lose it. Our inner self becomes encrusted with emotional ‘stuff.’

I remember one day when my daughter was around 7 years old; we were playing in her bedroom and without warning she looked up at me and said. “Mummy, someone’s knocking at the door.” I said “No, darling, there’s no one knocking.” It was quiet in our apartment and I did not hear anything. Still, I got up and when to the door to have a look. I opened the front door and looked around; there was no one in sight. I returned to play with her and sure enough within a minute or so, there was a knock at the door; we had a visitor. It did throw me a little, but I accepted it.

Try to imagine what was going through Jed’s head when indeed he did notice his mother’s belly getting bigger. How he must have been wondering; how did Melee know, how could she have dreamt this; she’s only a child.

The energy in that household surely did change as everyone except Melee, was now under stress as her dream came into fruition with the birth of Malachi.

Everyone felt powerless and Melee was in her element.

Very often now, when I am under pressure, I have to think back in time; that time when bad or unwanted things happened but I still mastered the situation.

The power is always within us, it was there from the very beginning of our lives.

I hope you enjoyed these comments and insights of this review. Feel free to add your own views.

And if you haven’t a clue what I am talking about, well, now is the time to get your copy of Broken Oath, read it and keep up with the discussion.

By the way, if you have purchased the book but haven’t read it yet; you have no idea what wisdom you are missing out on.

Best Regards
D. A. Martin
Bestseller Author of Broken Oath 


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.doratheauthor.blogspot.co.uk

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dora-The-Author-Books/657344564284562

http://youtu.be/5hN3aLIpFFA

http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10613721/broken-oath

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How To Take Years Off Your Looks In Minutes

Some time ago, I visited a widower who

at the time was in his late 70s.  I rang  

the doorbell and he came to answer the door. (Now, when I saw him last he looked really healthy, well groomed and he had a bright appearance about his face.) 

On this occasion, he look haggard, his face very drawn and I could see his cheek muscles hanging. He had dark rings around his eyes.  I asked him if he was feeling OK, he said he was fine. I asked if I had woken him up, he said no, he said had been in the kitchen cooking. Still, he did not look good at all and all sorts of scenarios was buzzing around in my head as to why the change in his countenance. Was he really ill and just not telling me? Had he not

been taking his medication?

We sat and talked and he moaned his usual moan, (making his face more haggard). I quickly changed the topic and I asked him whether he still kept in touch with a female friend he used to know.  Well, that stopped him in his tracks. He said he had lost contact with her and then suddenly, as he began to reminisce about their relationship, within a few minutes his countenance changed.

The transformation was amazing. As he talked about the relationship, his eyes became bright, as did his face, his cheek muscles lifted and he had a light aura about him. His face transformed to a healthy glow, I thought if only I could have captured this on video. If only he could see himself; before and after. Even his body changed from a hunched back, poor old man to a person sitting upright with something to look forward to.

I could see that thinking of this woman made him feel good. He even laughed. He now looked like the healthy, bright faced mature man I saw a couple of weeks ago.

When I finally left him, I said goodbye to a man walking upright, with a light in his eyes, health on his face and something warm and loving, simmering in his heart.

Transformation at the blink of an eye!

Best Regards

D. A. Martin
Bestseller Author of Broken Oath


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.doratheauthor.blogspot.co.uk

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Laughter The Best Medicine

A while ago, I bumped into an acquaintance I had not seen for some time. She mentioned that she was going through a grievance in her family. 

For her own personal reasons, she could not bring herself to mention it to her colleagues at work, although she suspected they were secretly

discussing her. And it seemed that no one was talking to her or they kept their distance. 

She did say that she had been in a sad and depressive state for a long time. I mentioned that maybe those around her had now become too embarrassed to say anything to her.

I told her she was brave to go into work each day and not say anything to anyone. She said she simply could not discuss it. As she continued talking I instinctively broke the conversation and said.

“Do you remember the story about Alex who resigned from his job. He collected a tidy sum of money and gifts from his colleagues, but unknowing to everyone, he changed his mind and decided to stay. He boldly came into work on the Monday morning, sat at his desk and carried on as if nothing had happened. Everyone was talking about him but equally, they were all too embarrassed to ask him what he was doing back at work.  He continued coming in day after day and in the end everyone just forgot about it.”

She thought about the incident and burst out laughing. “Oh, yes”. She said. “That was so funny!” Whilst she continued laughing I said. “All you have to do is the same. And after a while, people will just get on with their jobs. Just act like Alex, like nothing happened.” And she laughed again. We talked about how bold Alex was, and each time I mention Alex’s name, she burst out laughing. She laughed until she was crying, and I laughed until I cried too.

I kept mentioning his name and each time we both laughed. Once I was sure that I had ‘anchored’ her in a positive frame of mind, I said. “Well on that note, I shall leave you.”

As I walked off I quickly turned round and said. “Don’t forget; just like Alex.” She spontaneously fell into a fit of laughter, having heard his name again and I could still hear her laughter as I continued walking.

A few days later I saw her again, she came up to me and said “You know, I feel so much better. I just think of Alex and I can’t stop laughing.” I said. “That’s good.”

And I must say, she did indeed look much better and she was more positive too. After that, everything became easy for her.

It just goes to show, laughter is the best medicine.

Best Regards

D. A. Martin

Bestseller Author of Broken Oath

http://www.doramartin.tel

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Oath-D-A-Martin/dp/1291517537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385064589&sr=8-1&keywords=Broken+oath
http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10613721/broken-oath

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Who Am I

Be Myself Only Better

Who Am I?

I am a descendant of my ancestors.

I am here because of them.

I know all that they did for me was not in vain.

How do I know?  Because I am here.

I am here because of my ancestors

All that I do represents them.

What more can I do?

I can be myself; only better.