Letting it go

My book Broken Oath is winging its way to Amazon. I will let you know the launch date soon enough. I hope you will all support me and purchase a copy of my book. When you open the pages, you will see that I have dedicated the book to my sister Anita. She died after a  long illness at the age of 21 on 28th March 1980.

As you can imagine it hit me very hard. She was 11 months older than myself and we were like twin souls. When she died, half of me died with her. And my whole world fell apart. As the years went by, I did not heal. Maybe I did not want to heal. I continued to ask myself how and why and I looked for her in every female that looked familiar. I tried to befriend them but without success.

Years after my sister’s death, I had the same reoccurring dream. If I did not dream every day, it was every other day, or every week… regular as clockwork.

…I would dream I was in a hospital where my sister was taken. I would find myself in the back exit stairs of the hospital. I was only a small child in this dream. I would be climbing the stairs. The stairs seem to go on and on and up and up forever. After a while, I would come to a door, the door would always be hard to open. When I entered from behind the door, I came onto a ward. It was a huge ward and there were lots of corridors, rooms and beds with curtains drawn around them. I would be looking in each one trying to find my sister. When I thought I found her, without warning, I would find myself back in the exit stairs of the hospital; climbing up the stairs again, trying to get to my sister.

This reoccurring dream went on for many years; more years than I can recall. And still I would not heal from the loss of her in my life. I just could not, or would not move on.

The years went by and I grew older, life and opportunities passed me by until I became aware that the grass was growing tall, above and over me and I was becoming invisible, or obsolete. I was becoming a speck. I soon came into a realisation that the Universe, maybe even my sister was trying to telling me that she was in a safe place, and where she was, I could not follow. I had to live, I had to live my own life, I had to move on. It’s funny but I never understood this before.

I did not understand that for many years, my subconscious mind was trying desperately to help me to heal, the Universe was trying desperately to help me to heal, my Sister was trying desperately to help me to heal. And after that realisation, I did. She was gone and it was OK. It happened. I knew my Sister WAS in a safe place and that she was being looked after and being cared for.

And so, I began to live. I began to grow; taller than the grass that was once above me. Opportunities came to me, I met some wonderful people along the way. They helped me to grow, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and ultimately inspired me to live my life to the full. Now, I live for my Sister but most importantly, I live for myself. I hope she’s proud of me and all my achievements over the years. And you know, it’s good to let go. It’s OK. I can now make my goals and make them REAL.

Maybe you are hanging onto something that has past. It’s time now, to let it go….let it go. Listen to your subconscious mind…..let it go…listen to the Universe….let it go.

And you know, once you let it go, it becomes easier to let other things go. And the pain becomes less, and all other pains lessen and life becomes easier, brighter, better.

And good things begin to happen.…Let it go….Now………I did.

I will also love you Anita, and I dedicate my book Broken Oath, to you. (This is the only picture I have of her).